I've been a nurse for about 15 years. Nursing is my second career and I'm not even sure why I chose to go into nursing other than I thought the uniforms were cool and who doesn't want to walk around with a stethoscope around their neck? When Greg was about a year old, I decided that I would look into going to school for nursing and was quickly shut down by our local community college who wasn't taking any more applicants. I half heartedly contacted the private Nazarene university that was close to where we lived and was surprised when they called back and said "COME ON DOWN!!" Before I knew what was really going on, they had arranged financial aid and I was a nursing student in a BSN program. I graduated three years later with honors and a mountain of student loan debt that will haunt me until I'm roughly 140.
Being a nurse has it's perks. People think I'm cool because I can give a shot or look at blood without passing out or vomiting on my shoes. I can tell great stories about brain surgeries and open heart surgeries and the weird medical maladies I've run across. I can also give sage advice to people who have questions about their medical care. My family and friends have learned that they can call me and begin any conversation with "I have a medical question" and I'm ready to dole out my advice about what they should do about it. Some of the advice is professional, others is more my personal opinion which they didn't ask for but it comes free with professional advice. It's a package deal. I'll tell you what I think about that mole on your back but then I'm going to tell you're insane for taking 235 vitamins and going to a chiropractor. I'm not always right, but my advice comes with no guarantee. Most of the time I'm close to right or I am right and I'll remind you of that by yelling "I KNEW IT!". When I'm wrong, I'll snort around a lot and tell you that your doctor is either nuts or what the hell do you want, I'M not a doctor!
The downside of being a nurse is that you're convinced you're dying half the time. Every time I learn about a new condition, I think I have it. Even the mildest symptom is an indication of something HUGE that will surely kill me within the next 24 hours...possibly sooner if someone doesn't DO something about it! I've worked with some fine medical professionals over the years. Brilliant nurses and some of the best doctors in the country in specialities like pediatrics, neonatology, cardiology and neurosurgery. At one time or another I've had a conversation similar to this with many of them...
Okay....I think I have Cdiff...
You don't have Cdiff.
I'm pretty sure I do.
You don't.
How do YOU know? My abdomen hurts.
You've got gas.
Probably from the Cdiff!!
Get out of my office.
Cdiff is a particularly nasty bacteria that likes to set up shop in your intestines and cause trouble. I'll spare you the details. It became my running joke when I worked in a neurosurgery office because when the other nurse in the office would ask me to do something I'd tell her I couldn't because I had Cdiff. It never worked well as an excuse, but I tried it anyway.
Recently, I developed a really horrible sinus condition with lots of sinus drainage. Tom and I were sitting on the sofa the other night and I was having a particularly bad night of coughing and choking on drainage. The conversation went something like this...
You know what...what if this is cerebral spinal fluid draining from my brain?
What are you talking about?
This drainage...what if it's coming from my brain..you know it's right there by your sinuses...
You think your BRAIN is leaking? Chris you're a neurosurgery nurse. Your brain isn't leaking.
Well....maybe I should call the neurosurgeon I used to work with...
He is going to hang up on you.
And he probably would too...but not until he laughed REALLY HARD. The poor guy put up with me running all sorts of crazy symptoms by him the entire time I worked for him. Usually he told me that maybe I should see a doctor, to which I replied that he was a doctor...and then he'd kick me out of his office.
Nursing as a career has been good to me. I've had so many incredible experiences and I've had the opportunity to learn from medical professionals that have taught me more than I ever thought I could learn. I've celebrated patient's recoveries and I've stood in horror as the attending physician motioned for me to turn off life support in a patient's room where family are sobbing at the bedside. I've left the hospital with my spirits soaring because the day had been so good and we'd made such a difference in lives and I've left in tears after a day where I've felt that our efforts were fruitless. Despite the outcome...whether it be positive or negative...I've learned that the outcome can't be the focus for me as an RN. I've learned that it's the moment that must be the focus...the moment during which a patient is frightened and or in pain and I have the means to ease that, the moment during which the family is confused or exhausted and I can bring them a soda or a warm blanket or an explanation. Doctors focus on the outcome...nurses focus on the now...getting through moment by moment until that outcome is achieved. Perhaps that's why I didn't go to medical school...I like working in the moment.
I try to be professional about being a nurse while I'm at work, but I'm not one of those very serious, stoic nurses who are all business. I'm more likely to burst into your room and throw my arms in the air like you've been waiting for my arrival and now here I AM!! Usually because I have your pain medicine and I'm the best thing you've seen all morning. I try to be gentle and compassionate, but if you tell me your pain is a 10 out of 10 and you're watching Sponge Bob and eating a sandwich, I'm not likely to believe you and call your doctor for the Dilauded that you think you need. I'll poof your pillows and bring you snacks, but you're washing your own butt and don't ask me if you can go outside to smoke. I'll teach you about your illness and help you understand how to get better, but if you choose to not do what you're told, don't come whining to me when you're in pain or your spleen falls out.
I really like what I do. I like teaching and helping. I don't mind giving you advice on that mole on your back, which by the way looks fine, but is interestingly shaped like a duck. No charge for the duck observation.
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